Hi! I am sad to admit that I am the proud mother of a Biter! Abbi has this fixation with biting other children, herself, me and practically anyone. She has actually broken the skin on the little boy I tend. We have tried everything, time out, spanking, guilt trips.......the only thing we haven't tried is biting her back. We are a little worried about that. I don't want to send out the wrong message. So I am sending out a plea.......I need help from all of you wonderful parents out there. Give me advice, let me know your feelings about biting back. What do you think I should do?
The thing that worries me most is that she likes to bite herself. Although I am worried about biting other children. I almost wonder if she doesn't realize that it hurts.
I am sorry if Abbi has bitten or will bite anyone of you or your children.
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- Kati
- Kati is a stay at home mom and she loves it. Kurt is a full time seminary teacher for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We are very happy and we have 3 beautiful little girls. They are the most precious things in this world. We love them and are so lucky to have them in our lives. Life is busy but amazing and we keep living it to the fullest. One day at a time, trying to remember and appreciate everyday we have been given together. We love making memories and this blog is to help us remember them.
5 comments:
Kati- Two things I have heard that supposedly work are either putting alum ( a really bitter spice used for pickling) on their tongue everytime they bite or unsweetened koolaid powder. I am telling you Alum is disgusting. A few times getting that right after might do the trick.
What we noticed with RJ biting others, was that after he bit someone he got an enormous amount of attention as did the one he bit.
No, it wasn't lovely, praiseworthy attention but it was focused, devoted attention and a lot of it.
We decided that getting attention was why he did it. (He didn't tell us so we can't be sure. Hehehe.)
What did we do? Well, after he bit he was immediately, calmly, and quietly removed from the area. We got down to his eye level, asked him look us in the eye and said, "you may not bite ______. It is wrong to hurt others. If you are _____ then you may __________" followed up with what we wanted him to do instead.
This was done in a matter of under 20 seconds. After telling him what behavior was expected instead of what he had done, we would leave the area to take care of something else.
As we did so, we kept careful watch on him (we're pretty sneaky) to see when he was doing something great that we wanted to see more of and then gave him a quick squeeze and kiss for that specific act.
The one he bit (usually Ari) would also get a quick squeeze and an brief acknowledgment of her tears and then we moved on.
RJ biting her worked for her as well as for him. They both received incredible attention after the bite.
After several instances of demonstrating our new policy, he stopped biting as frequently. Not completely, just not as frequently.
The other day he bit Ari but it was the first time in several months. I think that's a pretty good start. Good luck!
(My favorite, favorite, favorite book on parenting - and where we learned this trick - is The Power of Positive Parenting by Glenn Latham. Genius man. It kept me sane and RJ out of perpetual timeout. But to each his own.)
Good luck! I hope you find something that works for you both!
Thank you both for your advice.....I will try them both out.
Children are so much like little puppies sometimes.
Hey chica-I'm not a mom yet, but do have 22 kids...(in 3rd grade)I don't know Jill, but I agree with her way of handling biting. In my behavior class, that is what they told us if we had a biter (some are in Pre-K). Just remember "This too shall pass." Love ya!
Sarah
Thank you all for your advice. I am just glad you didn't tell me to bite back.
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